By Pankhuri Kumar
The sad truth of life is that every person has to go through circumstances that are hurtful. When you undergo a situation that breaks you apart, it becomes very difficult to be able to feel good about anything. It tends to pull you back from everything that makes you happy. The only way that you can escape this hurtful condition is if you know how to let go. Understand that you are not alone and that life isn’t over. It is just a matter of time and you will bounce back even stronger and wiser than before.
1.) Realize the Need to Let Go
The first step is to actually realize the fact that there is something that you need to let go. It is true that we all get hurt at some point in our lifetime and only the source of the hurt varies. The reason can be anything from ending a long term relationship to being betrayed by a friend. The important thing is to be able to detect what’s wrong and then work on it.
2.) Try to Keep Yourself Occupied
We all know that an idle mind is a devil’s workshop. It is very essential to keep ourselves busy in the early stages of our grief and do things like reading, dancing, studying, listening to music, keeping a journal, getting massages or anything that we love doing. If it helps, then you can even go for responsible eating and shopping therapy. We should do whatever it takes to prevent ourselves from over-thinking. Here are some awesome ideas to keep yourself busy and to heal yourself at the same time.
3.) Go Social and Bond!
Keeping yourself occupied can be difficult when you are on your own. Letting go of something that hurts you can be made hundred times easier when you have your friends and family to help you. Stay near people who have positive vibes. It’s amazing how just a small coffee date or watching a movie with friends can cheer you up. The one thing that can do wonders is a day out with your mom and when you confide in her, she pampers you to make things better.
4.) The Blame Game Has to End
One thing that you should realize is that there are always two sides to a coin and you know only your one side. Blaming the other person for what they did to you is the most convenient thing do to but surely not the wisest. It is not possible for you to understand why the other person did what they did and under what circumstances. Just know that not being able to let go is only affecting your life. Understanding this fact is the key to recovery. Learning to forgive people is the hardest thing to do but it shows that you are mature enough to take responsibilities of your actions.
5.) Decide What to Hold Onto or Let Go
When the time to decide what to let go and what to hold onto comes, most people go wrong. People have the perception that moving on is only successful when you are able to erase everything completely from your mind. This is something that is impossible and also unnecessary. When you come across people who hurt you or situations that break you, it actually makes you stronger. This is a part of growing up and it is how you learn to survive in the world. You need to let go whatever has hurt you and try and forget the sad part but you should really stick on to the nice memories and learnings that you have gained during the journey. For your own betterment and ease it is very advisable to not keep grudges and think about what good the situation has done to you.
6.) Time is Precious
Honestly, everything heals with time but ask yourself how much time you can actually spare from your life. There is so much to accomplish in so little time. When you know that eventually things are going to be fine, then why waste time in mourning and losing more time than you have already lost. It is okay to be sad but realize that life doesn’t come to an end. Remember that time and tide wait for none. When you finally learn how to let go then you will be surprised to find that life has so much to offer.
7.) Look Back, Learn & then Move Forward
Whatever that happened already is out of bounds for you to control but your job here is to make sure that it doesn’t happen again. Anticipate what went wrong and how you can avoid it in future. Make the desired changes that will help you become a better person. Most importantly, don’t repeat the same mistakes of your past. Always be there for the people who helped you in letting go of the hurt. Remember that being able to forgive someone is a trait present only in strong people. Stay motivated and “good things are coming down the road, just don’t stop walking”. For more quotes on healing and motivation, check out this awesome resource.
Learning how to let go is not a task that can be done overnight. However, no matter how hard it is; you need to let go. You cannot live life happily carrying so much baggage in your mind. Things do take time but they will eventually fall in place and you will be back on track. Don’t feel embarrassed to seek help because at some point of time we all need it. Life is too short to worry yourself over one thing for a very long time. Concentrate on the things that are precious in your life and don’t lose focus on what you aspire to achieve. In order to get inspired by the lives of some awesome individuals who overcame their struggles, go through our section on Inspiring Interviews.
About the Author
Pankhuri Kumar is a student of Economics (Honours) at Hindu College, University of Delhi. She is a big believer in the power of positivity and plans to do her MBA in the future. In her free time, Pankhuri can be found checking out new places to eat and shop at.